poems about biochemistry (a series).

#1.

"hey baby"
charming signals,
i can't resist but
bind to him
and in i go
beyond
mitochondrion cytosol
and then he turns,
and he's conformed,
and he motions to a coenzyme A
it begins: my cyclic hell.
they cleave my carbons
two-at-a-time
round and round we go,
FADH2 and NADH, hello.
until i am but
acetyl-coa.

#45.

what am i to do
what am i to do
with my life
(so many worries)

#44.

i try
so hard
why does it
never pay
off.
hungry for more.

rest in peace.

#43. i'm sorry

i'm sorry that i'm not
the greatest grand-daughter
i could be.
i'm sorry we didn't talk
and that i was so
absentee.
i'm sorry we don't have
beautiful memories
to tie us together to a tolerable degree.
i'm sorry,
so
so
sorry.
so i hope you feel these
words that i don't have courage to say
(for whatever petty reason)
and know always
that i love you.
that i have loved you,
loved
loved
you.
so forgive me
and thank you:
for always loving me
for always missing me
i'm not deserving
of your beauty
and all of these things.
i don't want to say
what's left to be said,
all i want to say
is the opposite:
a simple hello
and please,
get better.
i'm not mature enough to deal with this.

#42.

worry,worry,worry
consumes me
hammers me
in a numbing wave
of if,if--
so many ifs
i can't swim.

#41.

so tired.
eyelids drooping,
yawning constantly,
can't move my muscles
full of lethargy.
don't be lazy.
do something
be someone.
i can't.
w
h
y
blahblahblahbbecause i don't know
what i want
blahblahblahbwith my life.
i wish i could be that someone
special.